Categories > Self love

Mindfulness – Taking control of your happiness

Taking control of your happiness starts with checking in with yourself. Your true self… Are you spending your time looking at yourself, dressing yourself through other people’s eyes? Are you judging yourself harshly, does that judgmental thought then refuse to leave you making you uncomfortable in your own body?

Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.” ~Lao Tzu

It is very easy to slip into the mode of living our lives according to the perceived  perception of other people’s standards. This gives rise to an inner conflict, making us feel inauthentic, anxious, and judgmental. This feeling then becomes a never-ending almost an infinity loop that keeps feeding itself.

And to that I say F… IT

Aradia Fitness Loudoun Northern Virginia Premiere Pole Dance Studio
Happiness| Aradia Fitness Loudoun Northern Virginia Premiere Pole Dance Studio

As Bob Marley said “Love the life you live, live the life you love”

Truth be told what other people think of us is none of our business. Other peoples opinions have nothing to do with us. It is cumulative affect of their past, their experiences, their likes and dislikes. For example when you walk into a room, every person in that room will think of you differently depending on the kind of day they are having. Each of those people are looking the exact same you in the same moment but will see you very differently.  The main question then is “how to stop giving a F.. as to what people think of me”

Here are a few suggestions

Mind your own business, these words have been used harshly and have harsh tone but lets delve into it, there are other businesses such as when you are trying so hard to get somewhere in time and it pours and the the NOVA drivers are extra cautious, everything crawls, what you feel in this situation matters! This business is uncontrollable, being anxious, or negative thoughts and judgements about the car in-front of you will not help matters but they certainly have a profound affect on how you feel. Then there is the business of what other people think of you, in the same situation think if you were the driver infront would it really matter what the person behind you is thinking about you? Stay away from living your life in other person’s head. Now we come to “Mind your own business” You getting angry because it is pouring that is your business, can you really do something about it? Being angry because the car infront of you is crawling, can you do something about it? Getting my drift? You control how you feel, that is all. Check in with yourself know your business and take control of it. What you think and feel is your business and matters.


“Train your mind to see good in everything” ~ Buddha

Own your feelings (for a moment I wanted to say own your sexy you will see it relates too) When we lead our lives based on other people’s opinions we are basically handing over the control of our lives to them. Like a puppet you place your life strings in other people’s hands and depending on the perceived string pulled we feel good or bad or sad. Our own perceptions of “she ignored me on purpose” feed into our negativity sinkhole and for all you know the other person might be thinking the same thoughts about another person :(. The truth is, the only person capable of hurting your feelings is yourself. Changing how you feel about a person’s actions requires a change in your thought process. You need to own your feelings and thoughts, know what thoughts are causing which emotion. This is very powerful, once you understand that acceptance and understanding will follow and so will your emotions.

“Do the best you can until you know better, then when you know better do better”  Maya Angelou

Do your best..how many of you remember your mom asking you “did you do your best” how many of us as moms ask our children “did you do your best” ?? We need to ask the same question of ourselves too, when we are doing our best there is positive intent from start to finish. You are not shortchanging yourself. Please know that when you are doing your best, how the other person receives it is not in your hands or control, all you control is, how you feel when you do your best, the feeling that comes from doing your best is yours and only yours to bathe and bask in.


“Grace means that all of your mistakes now serve a purpose Instead of serving shame” ~ Brene Brown

Making mistake is necessary to growth, even when you are minding your own business, doing your best, owning your feelings,  you will make mistakes. Having compassion for your self and a love for yourself very important. Hopefully you have been workin g on self love. Only productive thing that should arise from making a mistake is learning. Any other feeling or emotion is pretty much non functional for you. Everyone makes mistakes, it is always how you respond to it that makes all the difference. When you see a person being a bully, how do you feel, why would you be a bully to yourself.

SOO stop worrying about what other people think, stay out of their business, mind your own business and own your own sexy!! You are a goddess.

Love and Light Always Neelam Kataria

Practice Self Love

Practicing Self Love; A series to focus on practice (part 2)

“Talk to yourself like you would to someone  you love” Brene Brown

If you are reading this blog, this is the second of the series as we focus on the practice of self love and how it is an ongoing practice. Read Part 1 of the Blog here

Stop Comparing yourself!!

Practice self love by stopping comparisons. I have written another blog that is dedicated to  happiness and how comparison kills it.  comparison is one of those things that happens without awareness and contributes to unhappiness all the time. Especially for women, from print media to social media comparison is thrust into our faces and senses all the time. It is that much harder and important to realize when comparison sets in. You are a goddess in your own right, being you is your superpower, believe it with every particle of your being. Spend your energy to nourish your mind body and soul and build your own path.

Surround yourself with people you feel good with!!

This is critical, it has been my pleasure to provide a space where you leave all your worries outside the red doors of the studio and walk into a space that is filled with love and feel good vibe.  Outside of the studio do a mental check of people who are around you, do they inspire you? Be mindful of who you spend your time and energy with because your energy is precious to you. Do not give it away. 

Be compassionate when sh*t hits the fan!

So many of us (myself included) tend to beat ourselves down when we need our love the most. When we fail or screw up or someone rejects us, that’s the time we often beat ourselves down so much so that if you were to say it out loud to yourself you would not like that tone, does beating someone who’s lying down, sounds fair? I don’t think so, why would you do it your wonderful beautiful self?

 Choose to be most loving and forgiving with yourself when things don’t go as planned. When you stumble and fall. When you say the wrong things. When you feel dejected about a spin, or a trick? Remember the first day your very first Intro class 💜. Ask yourself what you need and then spray that all over yourself and for extra unicorn magic wear some glitter and allow yourself to sparkle.

Practice this for two weeks and wait for the rest 😊 

Love and Light Always
Neelam Kataria

Self Love - Aradia Fitness Loudoun Number 1 pole studio in NOVA
Russian Exotic at Aradia Fitness Loudoun

Self Love: Be Good To Yourself

Practicing Self Love; A series to focus on practice (part 1)

Self-love, self-respect, self-worth: There’s a reason they all start with ‘self.’ You can’t find them in anyone else.” ~Unknown

Be good to yourself Aradiafitnessloudoun
Be good to yourself

Be Good To Yourself, loving yourself is so much harder  than what the words imply. I have been struggling with it myself. Fairly recently when Ms. Crystal Belcher was at the studio teaching workshops, a friend and I were catching up after the workshops, she is coming back after major surgery and I am battling various obstacles life throws from time to time. While we were chattin with each other I believe we were having an internal dialogue with ourselves too and were realizing how hard we were being on ourselves. That interaction made me realize that self love is not one and done, it is a process that needs consistency. At the studio we value self confidence, Self-confidence is about trusting yourself and your abilities for example of hanging upside down, or baking perfection. Self-esteem, on the other hand, is about how we see ourselves. It’s about our perception of our worth. No matter what happens on the outside, do you treat yourself with love, care, and respect or not?

This realization that been coming in small doses over the years, when I left a kickass corporate job to be a mom and wife, taking on a new country new culture and a language that I was fluent in yet it was foreign. As a high achiever it is very easy to mask the issue of self esteem. Learning the art of self love is a work in progress and I believe it will always be.

Lets practice self love ❤️ 💖 💗 

Be someone who loves.

This is hard, no question about it. It will take practice just like when we learn how to invert, from pole inversions to silk inversion, it is the consistency of practice, understanding how your muscles work. Similarly the practice of self love will take consistent practice. Try to be someone who loves, allow  love to flow through yourself as often as possible, If you take aerial Yoga class with me and have practiced the flow of love ; )  you know how to practice it, for others where have you been (hahaha) all jokes aside, really practice the flow of love think of anything or anyone that made you feel love and place it in your heart, be open to all the feelings it invokes in you. Be in that moment, you do not need to be in a hammock to practice this, you could be waiting at a red light to turn green or waiting for you coffee to brew, and then slowly grow this practice, find things you love in people or nature, take thew time to observe and acknowledge them, be open to love.

Take it further by feeling what it feels like to be loved

Life is very smooth when things go as planned and we are succeeding, it is when stuff falls apart, or when we feel rejected that we need to find the place of love. It is during these challenging moments that we are meanest to ourselves. Think of things a person who loves you would say when you are facing those challenges or struggling. Pretty sure there would be no criticism or judgement. There would be kindness, understanding, and acceptance and that is what you would need to practice towards yourself.
 

I am practicing self love by sharing this small note I received from a student which made me feel so loved and appreciated. 

“Thank you so much for bringing heels class to the studio, I can not tell you how much positive impact  the studio has had on my life and how much I love dancing here.” ~ Arielle
For the next two weeks inculcate the above two practices in your daily routine. Our next blog will take your practice further,When self doubt clouds me or when I am having a tough day, your words give me a quick dose of “what it feels like to be loved”, Thank you 


Love & Light Always

Neelam Kataria

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