Taking control of your happiness starts with checking in with yourself. Your true self… Are you spending your time looking at yourself, dressing yourself through other people’s eyes? Are you judging yourself harshly, does that judgmental thought then refuse to leave you making you uncomfortable in your own body?
Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.” ~Lao Tzu
It is very easy to slip into the mode of living our lives according to the perceived perception of other people’s standards. This gives rise to an inner conflict, making us feel inauthentic, anxious, and judgmental. This feeling then becomes a never-ending almost an infinity loop that keeps feeding itself.
And to that I say F… IT
As Bob Marley said “Love the life you live, live the life you love”
Truth be told what other people think of us is none of our business. Other peoples opinions have nothing to do with us. It is cumulative affect of their past, their experiences, their likes and dislikes. For example when you walk into a room, every person in that room will think of you differently depending on the kind of day they are having. Each of those people are looking the exact same you in the same moment but will see you very differently. The main question then is “how to stop giving a F.. as to what people think of me”
Here are a few suggestions
Mind your own business, these words have been used harshly and have harsh tone but lets delve into it, there are other businesses such as when you are trying so hard to get somewhere in time and it pours and the the NOVA drivers are extra cautious, everything crawls, what you feel in this situation matters! This business is uncontrollable, being anxious, or negative thoughts and judgements about the car in-front of you will not help matters but they certainly have a profound affect on how you feel. Then there is the business of what other people think of you, in the same situation think if you were the driver infront would it really matter what the person behind you is thinking about you? Stay away from living your life in other person’s head. Now we come to “Mind your own business” You getting angry because it is pouring that is your business, can you really do something about it? Being angry because the car infront of you is crawling, can you do something about it? Getting my drift? You control how you feel, that is all. Check in with yourself know your business and take control of it. What you think and feel is your business and matters.
“Train your mind to see good in everything” ~ Buddha
Own your feelings (for a moment I wanted to say own your sexy you will see it relates too) When we lead our lives based on other people’s opinions we are basically handing over the control of our lives to them. Like a puppet you place your life strings in other people’s hands and depending on the perceived string pulled we feel good or bad or sad. Our own perceptions of “she ignored me on purpose” feed into our negativity sinkhole and for all you know the other person might be thinking the same thoughts about another person :(. The truth is, the only person capable of hurting your feelings is yourself. Changing how you feel about a person’s actions requires a change in your thought process. You need to own your feelings and thoughts, know what thoughts are causing which emotion. This is very powerful, once you understand that acceptance and understanding will follow and so will your emotions.
“Do the best you can until you know better, then when you know better do better” Maya Angelou
Do your best..how many of you remember your mom asking you “did you do your best” how many of us as moms ask our children “did you do your best” ?? We need to ask the same question of ourselves too, when we are doing our best there is positive intent from start to finish. You are not shortchanging yourself. Please know that when you are doing your best, how the other person receives it is not in your hands or control, all you control is, how you feel when you do your best, the feeling that comes from doing your best is yours and only yours to bathe and bask in.
“Grace means that all of your mistakes now serve a purpose Instead of serving shame” ~ Brene Brown
Making mistake is necessary to growth, even when you are minding your own business, doing your best, owning your feelings, you will make mistakes. Having compassion for your self and a love for yourself very important. Hopefully you have been workin g on self love. Only productive thing that should arise from making a mistake is learning. Any other feeling or emotion is pretty much non functional for you. Everyone makes mistakes, it is always how you respond to it that makes all the difference. When you see a person being a bully, how do you feel, why would you be a bully to yourself.
SOO stop worrying about what other people think, stay out of their business, mind your own business and own your own sexy!! You are a goddess.
Love and Light Always Neelam Kataria