Be Strong like a Man but Love like a Woman
Logic, rationale, and critical thinking allows for the ability to fortify oneself with strength and power. Many men weld these talents like weapons. When used well, they can result in many wins. These skills are valued in the business and academic worlds. Thinkers are praised for their intellectual achievements. These are definitely useful abilities, but are they enough?
Women in business brought another layer of necessary skills. We not only think with logic and reason, but we make emotion-based decisions. This probably threw men for a loop when we entered the workforce. WHY are you crying because the machine won’t work???? This is the stereotypical thought process about women and emotions. Does this happen sometimes? Yes. But incorporating EQ or Emotional Intelligence into the business world has provided a new way to interact with people on a whole new level.
Women are not only thinkers but we’re born nurturers. Most of us have the ability and need to connect with people on a deeper level. This natural instinct to reach out and heal, not only the physical but the emotional aspects of a person, gives us the means to fix problems more holistically. Logic, reason and critical thinking are good for resolving processes and the mechanical issues. When we need to repair a people-based problem, we need more. We need to problem solve on more than just the surface level because people are not machines and their problems stem from more than a process breakdown. Being able to understand how the issue has started or impacted people mentally will give you the ability to change not only the process but the mindset and culture.
Don’t neglect this gift we have been given as women. Don’t try to hide your ability to understand someone on a more emotional level. Our nurturing side is not a weakness. It’s the core of our feminine strength. Allow your talents to shine. If you look at many of the powerful women throughout history, you’ll see they leverage this gift to propel them through their success.
The TEDWomen lecture by Luvvie Ajayi hit home with some truths about people and women in particular. One of the most difficult things to do is to create uncomfortable situations. You know that queasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. Everyone standing around, not willing to make eye contact. No one knows exactly how to respond to the uncomfortable comment without making people even more awkward. So, what do we do now? Nothing, right? Everyone acts as if nothing happened and we go on about our business.
How many of us are brave enough to create these situations? For example discussing pole dance or sensual movement in a group or for that matter with your friends. Right, not many. Let’s take a look at why we as women don’t want to speak up and speak out. How many times as a child are we told don’t say anything if you don’t have anything nice to say? Or it’s impolite to interrupt others? Women are taught it’s our role to make people feel comfortable and welcomed. We want people to like us. Our whole lives we’re conditioned to not to create unpleasant situations.
Breaking that mold can be difficult, but it’s not impossible. Some people have confidence built in or they’ve been brought up in environments which promote expression. For those of us who don’t, we can start small. Find your voice in something you’re highly passionate about. You can begin in a less intimidating environment such as a blog or vlog, no direct human contact. Sometimes it’s even bigger baby steps like telling our kids, NO! Lol.
At our studio it is our endeavour to provide a safe place to try and begin our journey. Talking in an environment where people are more accepting will ease the pressure of learning to have uncomfortable conversations. Building our confidence to be comfortable in our own skin helps to fortify that little girl inside who’s afraid to speak her mind. Take a deep breath, be brave, and speak your truth.
Link to Luvvie Ajayi’s lecture