The TEDWomen lecture by Luvvie Ajayi hit home with some truths about people and women in particular. One of the most difficult things to do is to create uncomfortable situations. You know that queasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. Everyone standing around, not willing to make eye contact. No one knows exactly how to respond to the uncomfortable comment without making people even more awkward. So, what do we do now? Nothing, right? Everyone acts as if nothing happened and we go on about our business.
How many of us are brave enough to create these situations? For example discussing pole dance or sensual movement in a group or for that matter with your friends. Right, not many. Let’s take a look at why we as women don’t want to speak up and speak out. How many times as a child are we told don’t say anything if you don’t have anything nice to say? Or it’s impolite to interrupt others? Women are taught it’s our role to make people feel comfortable and welcomed. We want people to like us. Our whole lives we’re conditioned to not to create unpleasant situations.
Breaking that mold can be difficult, but it’s not impossible. Some people have confidence built in or they’ve been brought up in environments which promote expression. For those of us who don’t, we can start small. Find your voice in something you’re highly passionate about. You can begin in a less intimidating environment such as a blog or vlog, no direct human contact. Sometimes it’s even bigger baby steps like telling our kids, NO! Lol.
At our studio it is our endeavour to provide a safe place to try and begin our journey. Talking in an environment where people are more accepting will ease the pressure of learning to have uncomfortable conversations. Building our confidence to be comfortable in our own skin helps to fortify that little girl inside who’s afraid to speak her mind. Take a deep breath, be brave, and speak your truth.
Link to Luvvie Ajayi’s lecture